"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the ways its animals are treated" ~Gandhi

I've loved animals since I was very little.  For a few years, I was sure that I was going to become a veterinarian.  I wasn't grossed out by or scared of (most) bugs and I didn't have a favorite animal because "I love[d] all of them!"

My love of animals was the reason I became a vegetarian, initially.  The first time I went vegetarian, I didn't go cold turkey.  I went free-range, warm turkey first.  Literally.  That Thanksgiving, we had a free-range turkey for dinner.  My mum remembers being in the kitchen, hearing me talking, looking over, and seeing me laying on our kitchen table, staring at the turkey.  I was saying something like, "You had a good life, didn't you?  Yes you did!  You ran around and played with your turkey friends and ate good food.  And now I'm going to eat you."  I later went the full vegetarian, but stopped for sabbatical since I knew that I would be trying new foods.  Then, at the beginning of this school year, I took it up again.  It's not as bad as most people imagine it, especially since there are so many types of good veggie-meats.  I do miss bacon, though...

The older dog, Maggie.

The younger dog, Gabby, with a derp face.

The reason I love animals so much is hanks to my family.  We have had an average of two dogs at any given point in my life, and all of the individual family units on my dad's side have at least one dog.  (When we squeeze into a small cottage for our annual family reunion, it gets pretty hectic.)  We now have two, Maggie and Gabby, although Maggie is getting pretty old.  Gabby has a pillow in my room where she sleeps every night.  I'll slide it under my bed when I need to clean up my room, and if I forget to take it back out, she'll stare up at me and make a quiet, whining sort of noise until I realize what's wrong and bring her bed back out.  Unlike the picture, she is usually really cute, and sometimes bears a striking resemblance to Dobby (from Harry Potter).  I love dogs, and plan on having (at least) one for the rest of my life.

When I was in middle school, I became obsessed with a series called His Dark Materials.  In it, each person has a shape-shifting, animal-like creature that they are connected to and which follows them around.  I decided that I should have one to, so for a majority of my sixth grade year, I imagined that there was an animal (that could be any animal I wanted it to be) with me all day, every day.  Needless to say, people thought I was a freak.

Even though I don't plan on becoming a veterinarian and I don't love ALL the animals anymore, I still really like animals.  I hope to be able to interact with them somehow more in the future, and if all else fails, I can always become a crazy dog lady (I hate cats).

Meme overload?  ...Yeah, probably.  

Idiot! ...right?

Many people who are renowned as geniuses, were thought to have or were found to have some sort of mental handicap.  When Albert Einstein was little, his parents and teachers thought that he was mentally challenged because he wouldn't pay attention in class or do the classwork.  It ended up that it was because he was so bored.  Antonin Artaud, who came up with theatre of cruelty, was thought of as a genius in his time.  However, it turns out that he had schizophrenia, was diagnosed with psychosis in his later years, and was put in various sanatoriums throughout his life.

Some incredibly smart people are that way because of a disorder; psychopathy.  It is most commonly thought that psychopathy is caused by dysfunction of certain areas in the brain.  The most well known symptoms of this illness are lack of empathy, narcissism, limited range of emotions, impulsivity, and antisocial behavior.

"But, why are you calling psychopaths 'incredibly smart'?" you may wonder.  Well, many psychopaths go through life without knowing and/or revealing that they have the disorder.  You have to have a significant level of smarts to be able to blend in so well with society when you are dealing with such a mental illness.  Most of the time, psychopaths are "found out" only when they commit a crime.  However, not all psychopaths are violent criminals (which is a common misconception); some of them are CEOs of successful companies, while others are fathers of happy families.  As much as I should fear violently inclined psychopaths, I have a certain amount of respect for those people who are able to overcome problems that their mental illness may create, and instead create for themselves a prosperous and happy life.

So, don't underestimate people you may look down on for being different, socially awkward, or mentally handicapped, they might be a genius in disguise.  Next time you pass Choo-Choo (the one of famed flatulence, a.k.a. Jacob Rajlich) in the hallway, you may want to respond to his greeting with less exasperation and more awe.

Guitars, Trumpets, and Manjos

Let me start out by saying that I am not a hipster.  I've gotten a lot of flack for my musical tastes because I like artists that not many other people know about.  When I say "I really like so-and-so, but not many people know about them," I'm not trying to prove that I'm cooler or better then everyone.  There's an unsaid "So you should check them out because they're great!"  Keeping that in mind, here's a bunch of artists that I really like, and I think more people should know about.

Avalanche City:
I found this band while I was living in New Zealand.  Their song "Love Love Love" became really popular when it was used in a commercial for a TV station.  When I first heard the clip of it in the commercial I thought, "What is this?  It's amazing!"  Apparently other people had the same reaction because it shot to number one on New Zealand charts.  I listened to their other music and fell even more in love with the band. I love (love love) almost every one of their songs, but I'll show you this one since it was the one that got me hooked.  I really like the manjo (mandolin-banjo), the other various stringed instruments, and the tune is nice and catchy.  The music video is adorable as well.

Kimbra:
Kimbra is another artist that I found while living in New Zealand because her song, "Cameo Lover," became popular while I was there.  When I found out that I went to the same school she went to and was in the same SCAT choir under the same director, I freaked out.  It has made me so happy to find out that other people are learning about her (thanks to her collaboration with Gotye on "Somebody That I Used To Know").  Her voice is amazing, she is a good song writer, and I like her sound.  Here is the colorful music video to the first and favorite song of hers that I heard.

Brooke Fraser:
Although she is from New Zealand, I actually found out about her before I got there.  It was one of those rare times when I clicked on the right link in the sidebar and found some YouTube gold.  I immediately fell in love with her sound.  Unlike Kimbra and Avalanche City, she had already been around for a while so she had two full albums out already.  The first song of hers that I really liked was "Something in the Water."  The back up back up vocals are great, I like the guitar and percussion (not to mention her vocals), and the claps are so fun!  Again, the music video is cute, which doesn't hurt.

Youngbloode Hawke:
I just recently found Youngbloode Hawke, again through the YouTube sidebar.  They are a fairly new band; they only have four songs, but I like them all.  I first heard "We Come Running" and it was stuck in my head for the next few days.  I listened to it again, and then heard the rest of their songs.  With every listen they grew on me.  I really like their back up vocals and all of the layered sound, and it was a nice break from all of the acoustic guitar that I had been listening to.  So, here's "We Come Running"

Givers:
This band is yet another one of my YouTube sidebar finds.  Their lyrics are either nonsensical or very deep, I can't tell which.  However, I really like their music.  The girl's voice, the instruments, and the tunes are all great (the guy's voice is okay).  Their harmonies are lovely as well.  So, here is the song that got me hooked, "Up Up Up."

Of Monsters and Men:
Of Monsters and Men is most well known for their song, "Little Talks." However, I really like the rest of their music.  I first heard little talks because I was trying to find a song that I had heard on a commercial.  I was told that the song was Little Talks (when, in fact, it was a different song altogether).  I couldn't get it out of my head, so I listened to it again, and then to some of their other songs.  At first I didn't like the rest of their music, but it quickly grew on me.  They have a similar-ish sound to Avalanche City, although Of Monsters and Men is a bit rougher (Does that make sense?  Do I sound like a crazy person?).  Their diction is horrendous, but the awesomeness of the trumpet makes up for it.  I love most of their songs and think that people would love their other music as well if they heard it, since Little Talks was so popular.  I'll show you two of their other songs, since I cannot choose.  First is "Yellow Light", which is incredibly calming and beautiful.  Next is "King and Lionheart," which is faster-paced and more energetic (but not as energetic as "Little Talks" and "Numb Bears")

I hope you guys enjoyed this music!  If you want other artist recommendations,  feel free to ask me; there's plenty more where these came from!

"I love acting. It is so much more real than life." ~Oscar Wilde

Last spring, I came out to my parents as a thespian.  They already suspected it, but it was still very hard for them.  It took a while, but they have now pretty much come to terms with the idea of me going into theatre.  I could barely contain my smile when my dad turned to me during the Junior meeting about the college process and said, "You're going to need to send in audition tapes too, right?"

My love of theatre has been engrained in me since I was little, and my parents are to blame.  When I was young, my parents would say, "Make a happy face!  Make a sad face!  Make a confused face!" and I would happily oblige.  When I was a toddler, I watched "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" literally every day for a substantial amount of time.  When I was in elementary school, my parents took the mirror out of my room, stuck it in the attic, and I didn't get it back until middle school because I spent too much time in front if it.  I wasn't being vain.  Oh, no!  I was simply using it to practice making faces and acting.  However, they couldn't take the bathroom mirror away, so I still had the joy of doing toothpaste commercials there!

I am very involved in theatre, but what I really want to get into is film - however, there aren't many opportunities to do that in East-Central Illinois.  Even though I haven't done much of film, I'm pretty sure that I will prefer it to theatre.  The main reason being, that I could not (and cannot) stand doing the same thing night after night - I would go crazy and my performance would start feeling horribly rehearsed.  I figured out that I wanted to do film when I was living in Ireland.  (This sounds crazy, I know, but it's true and I can't explain why.)  After every time I watched a (not completely crappy) movie, and never at any other time, I would feel sick to my stomach and I somehow knew that I wanted to go into film.  I know it's really weird. Don't judge.  Does anyone else love something this much?  Is this normal?  Should I be put in a mental hospital?  Well, I should anyway, but...

I spend most of my time thinking about, helping with, or participating in the dramatic arts.  They consume my thoughts. When I zone off in class, there is a 95% chance that I am either developing a plot, a character, a scene, or anything else related to film or theatre.  It is nearly impossible for me to be bored because I can always think of new stories and develop them.  The only way that I have survived fitness all these years is by thinking about all of this while I'm suffering the torturous and tragic loss of life-sustaining minerals and energy (a.k.a. running).

One of the reasons I love the dramatic arts so much (and want to participate) is the costumes.  I especially love historical stuff about rich people because the costumes are so elaborate and glamorous.  I also love the music, which is something important to me outside the realm of the dramatic arts.  Often, when I hear a song, I will start thinking of a scene that goes with it.  Sometimes the scene is from a pre-existing idea I have already had, and other times I make a new one up just for the song.  I think it would be really to cool to be able to collaborate with an artist(s) on a film so that the soundtrack of the film is also their album.  When I'm developing a film, I will create a playlist for that film on my Ipod, which reflects the mood of the film and usually incorporates some songs that I have envisioned as scenes.  But, the main reason is because I love it.  I love being onstage and turning into a different person (so to speak).  I love the heightened emotion and sense of reality that comes with that.  I love the sense of community created in rehearsals and backstage.

So, this is what I want to do with my life, even though it is such a hard business to "make it" in.  I want to act in films, but would probably be perfectly happy directing.  I'm glad to know that I have my parent's support in doing theatre, so now all I have to do it get them to accept that I'll be going into film.  It'll be interesting to see where I go on this crazy journey that I have already started myself on.  Wish me luck!  ...Or "Break a leg" if the circumstances call for it.

Gurl! Hold Ma Weave!

I got my first haircut in about six months yesterday.  This is big news because it's my first haircut since I shaved my head last spring.  Like, completely bald.  That hairless freak you saw wandering the corridors?  Yeah, that was me.  The first thing most people ask when I told them I shaved my hair off is "Why?"  It's a valid question.
"Because I got my brown hair dyed blonde for a school show that I was in."
"Why didn't you just dye it back?"
"Well, the way they dyed it (doing highlights and whatnot) I couldn't have just dyed it back - it would've looked weird.  So, I just decided to shave it."
"Are you going to keep it short?"
"Haha! ...

My decision to shave it all off was quite rash, really.  I pondered how to solve the ever-worsening problem of my my dark roots for about a week.  I thought about dyeing it, but that would've look odd.  I thought about letting it grow out, but that would just look ridiculous.  I thought about letting it grow out just enough so I could cut the blonde parts off and still have a pixie cut, but that would take to long. The only logical thing left to do was to shave it.  So I did.  I sat on a plastic lawn chair in our back yard in front of a mirror propped up against a tree as my dad took to my head with an electric razor and much glee.  He had shaved his head bald before I was born, so he was really excited for me to follow in his footsteps.

For the first week, I went around with a mohawk.  According to some people I looked like "Puck" from "Glee," according to others I was a skinhead.

Then, for the next few weeks, I was completely bald.  It was funny, when I went shopping or to a restaurant or wherever, because I could tell that people were treating me more nicely.  People at the cash registers were more friendly, people gave me a sad/pitying smile when I passed them, etc.  I'm pretty sure they thought I was a cancer patient.  In fact, I was later told that some Uni parents asked their kids' if I was!

When my hair started to grow back, people's reactions changed drastically.  One time, I was sitting in DCL and two girls and their mum walked by.  One girl said, "Mom?  Why doesn't that girl have any hair?"  "Don't be rude!" hushed her Mum.  Another time, I was in Target when a mother and her kids passed by.  "Is that a boy or a girl?" asked one of the kids.  Again, the automatic reaction on the mum's part was to quiet the kids and hurry away.  Both times, I just laughed!  I'm pretty sure I got glares from a few people who were disapproving of my unorthodox hair, though, and that was not appreciated.  However, it made me wonder why people are so ashamed and disgruntled about non-ordinary hair.  Seriously, who cares?  If I want to go around looking like a freak, it's my problem.  If you don't like it, don't look at me!  Admittedly, it does bother me when I can't clearly tell someone's gender, since it makes things awkward.  However, it's not like I was going around trying to be androgynous - in fact, I made sure to wear dresses/skirts (with shorts underneath) whenever I went out in public.  And as for parents being so ashamed of their kids... They're kids!  They don't understand social rules!  They say whatever they're thinking!  That's why they're so awesome!  Why do we keep trying to break this habit out of them?  We are teaching them to stay bottled up and closed off from the world!  Let them be free!  Fly, little kiddies!  FLY!  Anyway...

I experienced this lack of inhibition every week this summer.  I worked at a camp for two months, and every week we'd get a new shipment of kids.  That meant that every week I had (got?) to hear, "Y'know, when I first saw you I thought you were a boy!"  At first, I laughed it off.  But after a month it got old.  Really old.  Then again, that meant that every week I got to mess with a new set of campers and tell them things like:  "Yeah, I was hiking in Maine and this bear came out of nowhere and started attacking me.  Before I got away it slashed my head and they had to stitch it back up so I had to shave it." or "I jumped off a high dive and the water pressure when I hit the pool was so high that it ripped all my hair out." or "My dog ate it."

By the time I got back to school in the fall, my hair had pretty much grown into a pixie cut.  The weird looks stopped coming, as did the comments questioning my gender.  However, one thing was still the same as when I first was bald; my friends kept touching my head and playing with my hair.  There was one lunch period where I had three people sitting around me, stroking my head, for 10 minutes.

I can't really figure out how to end this, so I'll just say this: friends are awesome because even if you look like the biggest freak in the world, they will still hang out with you because they love (creepily, at times) touching your head.

Moderating the Internet

I, like most other young adults of our time, am addicted to the internet.  However, during this past summer I had an experience that is very unlike those of other youth - I went two months without internet.  'Why,' you may ask, 'did she not have internet for two months?  Was her internet "broken"?  Was it of her own accord?'  Don't worry dear reader, if you can manage to stay on the internet for long enough, all your questions will be answered.

You see, my two months without internet also happened (not at all coincidentally) to be the two months that I was volunteering at a camp.  This camp was out in the middle of nowhere in Illinois, and although there was internet there, I did not have a device that would allow me to use it.  At first I thought, 'Oh crap.  I've spent all my time on the internet since I got out of school for the summer.  The night before I went to camp I spent pulling an all-nighter thanks to the world wide web!  How am I going to deal with going cold turkey?  Will the withdrawal be horrible?  Will I get the shakes?  Will I not be able to function because of the lack of memes?'  However, after the first few days, I realized that it was lovely!  I never wanted to go back to the time-sucking, procrastination inducing, short attention-span creating internet!  I wanted to frolic through the meadows, wander through the woods, and dive into the lake on the camp grounds!  (Although, if I did that I would've gotten dirt and ticks and leeches and other little critters everywhere, so I refrained.)  I loved being free!  I never wanted to go back!  Screw the internet!!!

A view of the lake.  This picture does not do the camp's beauty justice.

After a month or so, I started feeling the effects of being off-screen for so long.  Instead of having fun with the campers, my thoughts would wander to such questions as "When will I get home and back to my darling computer and the lovely internet that accompanies it?"  How I longed to see the screen light up when I opened it, or hear it make the 'wake up' noise, or curse the spacebar for sticking when I pressed it because of the apple juice I spilled on it long ago?

I tried to control myself, I really did!  But as soon as I got home (after the obligatory 'Hello's and 'It was great's to my family, of course) I went straight to my room and opened up my laptop.  I spent that whole night messing around on the internet, and most of the next day to!

After a while, however, I let up and remembered how much I had resented the internet at the beginning of the summer.  The internet is truly great, it allows us to do many things that would not be possible otherwise.  Thanks to the world wide web I can apply to work at camp, keep in touch with friends from there, and learn when the staff reunion is so much faster and easier than without it.  However, if I don't watch out, it'll take over my life.  This summer I realized the truth of Oscar Wilde's famous quote:

"Everything in moderation, including moderation."

Of Theatre, Shorts, and Sugar

As you can probably tell by the title of this blog, it will be mostly comprised of me talking about whatever I feel like talking about.  Sadly, I do not have a cool theme or anything, it'll just be me... being me.  'But, who are you?' you may ask.  Well, let me tell you.

The most basic info you need to know about me (or probably already do) is that my name is Ella Lubienski, I am sixteen, and I'm currently a junior at Uni High in Urbana.  Within the first five minutes of meeting me, you will most likely learn that I love the dramatic arts (theatre and film) and sugar. I find it incredibly important to wear shorts under skirts and dresses, as all my good friends (or people who have been near me when I am wearing a skirt or dress) quickly find out.  You never know when you will feel like doing a cartwheel.  Also, it is one of the funniest things to see peoples faces when you do something crazy while wearing a skirt or dress, and they don't realize that you are also wearing shorts.  It cracks me up every time (especially if I have recently had sugar).

If you can't already tell, I am a slightly energetic individual.  This is especially important when I do theatre, because it requires a lot of energy.  Contrary to popular belief, my energy levels do not usually correspond with the amount of my sugar intake.  I usually feed off of other people's adrenaline - or lack thereof.  In fact, I don't get as much sugar or caffeine as the average American teen because I don't drink any pop since the fizz hurts my tongue.

So, now you know at least a bit about me so you won't be completely confused when I start talking about theatre more than anyone else you've ever met.  Or when I seem slightly hyper... or when I start doing cartwheels in a skirt...