"I love acting. It is so much more real than life." ~Oscar Wilde

Last spring, I came out to my parents as a thespian.  They already suspected it, but it was still very hard for them.  It took a while, but they have now pretty much come to terms with the idea of me going into theatre.  I could barely contain my smile when my dad turned to me during the Junior meeting about the college process and said, "You're going to need to send in audition tapes too, right?"

My love of theatre has been engrained in me since I was little, and my parents are to blame.  When I was young, my parents would say, "Make a happy face!  Make a sad face!  Make a confused face!" and I would happily oblige.  When I was a toddler, I watched "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" literally every day for a substantial amount of time.  When I was in elementary school, my parents took the mirror out of my room, stuck it in the attic, and I didn't get it back until middle school because I spent too much time in front if it.  I wasn't being vain.  Oh, no!  I was simply using it to practice making faces and acting.  However, they couldn't take the bathroom mirror away, so I still had the joy of doing toothpaste commercials there!

I am very involved in theatre, but what I really want to get into is film - however, there aren't many opportunities to do that in East-Central Illinois.  Even though I haven't done much of film, I'm pretty sure that I will prefer it to theatre.  The main reason being, that I could not (and cannot) stand doing the same thing night after night - I would go crazy and my performance would start feeling horribly rehearsed.  I figured out that I wanted to do film when I was living in Ireland.  (This sounds crazy, I know, but it's true and I can't explain why.)  After every time I watched a (not completely crappy) movie, and never at any other time, I would feel sick to my stomach and I somehow knew that I wanted to go into film.  I know it's really weird. Don't judge.  Does anyone else love something this much?  Is this normal?  Should I be put in a mental hospital?  Well, I should anyway, but...

I spend most of my time thinking about, helping with, or participating in the dramatic arts.  They consume my thoughts. When I zone off in class, there is a 95% chance that I am either developing a plot, a character, a scene, or anything else related to film or theatre.  It is nearly impossible for me to be bored because I can always think of new stories and develop them.  The only way that I have survived fitness all these years is by thinking about all of this while I'm suffering the torturous and tragic loss of life-sustaining minerals and energy (a.k.a. running).

One of the reasons I love the dramatic arts so much (and want to participate) is the costumes.  I especially love historical stuff about rich people because the costumes are so elaborate and glamorous.  I also love the music, which is something important to me outside the realm of the dramatic arts.  Often, when I hear a song, I will start thinking of a scene that goes with it.  Sometimes the scene is from a pre-existing idea I have already had, and other times I make a new one up just for the song.  I think it would be really to cool to be able to collaborate with an artist(s) on a film so that the soundtrack of the film is also their album.  When I'm developing a film, I will create a playlist for that film on my Ipod, which reflects the mood of the film and usually incorporates some songs that I have envisioned as scenes.  But, the main reason is because I love it.  I love being onstage and turning into a different person (so to speak).  I love the heightened emotion and sense of reality that comes with that.  I love the sense of community created in rehearsals and backstage.

So, this is what I want to do with my life, even though it is such a hard business to "make it" in.  I want to act in films, but would probably be perfectly happy directing.  I'm glad to know that I have my parent's support in doing theatre, so now all I have to do it get them to accept that I'll be going into film.  It'll be interesting to see where I go on this crazy journey that I have already started myself on.  Wish me luck!  ...Or "Break a leg" if the circumstances call for it.